Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
