if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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