It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
