Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
