nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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