I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
