the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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