How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
