I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
