No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
FUCK WHALES
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize