remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize