it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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