is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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