just come out here and I will go home with you...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
