Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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