call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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