yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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