you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
