Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
