im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
