the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
