i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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