I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When are your genitals available?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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