Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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