i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
