totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
