PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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