you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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