Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
