talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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