I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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