remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
