Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
