Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
