Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
