He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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