I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had sex on a roof
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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