I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
