She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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