God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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