oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
