So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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