I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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