Sponge bath it is.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
