Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
