Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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