Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
