then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
