Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
