i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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