Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
