i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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