you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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