She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
