So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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