Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
