I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
