just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
