Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
