they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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