Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just high enough for therapy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
