that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
