Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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