I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
