I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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