Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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