It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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